Grey Explodes

The hum,

The constant quiet whining

Of efficient strip lighting,

Hands unsteady,

Cracked in driest air,

The longest empty pauses

Till the grey explodes

And steals your everything within the sudden chaos,

The evenings when you know

The floor has dropped away,

Although you cannot feel your fall.

You only know you now have nothing

Deep within your chest.

You're moved outside the room

To hospital hallways

Smelling antiseptic

Just like every hospital hallway.

After the doctor tells you

You pray as if it might

Unsettle scales to balance,

Knowing she will never make it.

You see the morning

Long ago,

The fresh croissants and juice and coffee,

Hazy sunlight barely bright enough

For you and her on rumpled sheets

To read voluptuous chunks of Shakespeare,

Lyrics of a hungry love,

And staring lost into her face,

She everything,

And this the world you want to live in,

World you had eleven years

You believed the dark collectors

Wrenching her away

Had taken what it would

To cover your presumptions,

Breathing air on top this world,

And left you starting over

From the pit with nothing.

Still, you've never paid enough.

You never reimbursed a full redemption

For troubling the planet with your weight.

And now

Again

Your god

Is taking.

All you love

Is underneath

The strict

Demanding

Earth.

- 2/25/26